How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is on the market for pre-order! Here!

An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, should you want my dulcet tones, hearken to together with your ears. You’ve beloved my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn via my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind after I virtually unintentionally penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to develop into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You might name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about unintentionally occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle via my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it will not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set up to now, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the improper finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it received to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a trip via a decade of the unbelievable situations and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and steadily ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. In actual fact I used to be particularly informed, after I received the ebook deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that will create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to the entire components that can probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I didn’t develop into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any scenario.

You’ll be able to pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably protected guess that you just’ll like it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so should you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be endlessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the ebook and in regards to the means of writing it as a result of it has actually been the very best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever accomplished in my grownup life. For those who’ve adopted me for some time then you definitely’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really glad accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.